Predictions are a tricky business. And when they are posted on the Internet—and linked on Facebook and tweeted to the world—where every word and win is automatically saved in shocking historical posterity, I admit occasionally to second thoughts about this potentially damning business. But when you’re right? When you correctly predict the Super Bowl champion before the season begins? Well that’s something to be proud of—and something to shout from the rafters of social media! So before I go on to predict the new National Football League campaign, let us first look back at the season that was. . . . On September 9, 2010 I wrote: ‘The Green Bay Packers are my pick to win Super Bowl XLV.’ Not only did I nail that one on its proverbial head, but the final score (I thought it would be 28-24, it was 31-25) was quite close. (To be completely candid, I did have them besting the Ravens, who lost to their division rival Steelers.) More impressive, though, was my prediction of two Greg Jennings Super Bowl touchdown catches and—delightfully—these words: “His predecessor [Brett Favre] roaming the frozen tundra will not be as fortunate in the 2010 National Football League season. Not only will his consecutive game streak end . . .”—which it did with a concussion on the concrete-like field outdoors in Minneapolis on Monday night, December 20—“. . . [b]ut, hey—at least his career won’t end with an interception!” Instead it ended with sack.
But that was last year. What does the NFL have in store this season? More of the same: the Green Bay Packers are my pick to win Super Bowl XLVI. This time, it’ll be the San Diego Chargers who they outlast in Indianapolis, besting the ‘Bolts buoyed by a dominant second half, 34-21. Once again, quarterback Aaron Rodgers will be named Super Bowl MVP. As for the road to Indy, read on find my team-by-team predictions and season award winners. Without further ado . . .
The awards go to . . .
MVP: Aaron Rodgers, QB, Green Bay Packers
Offensive Player of the Year: Ray Rice, RB, Baltimore Ravens
Defensive Player of the Year: Clay Matthews, LB, Green Bay Packers
Offensive Rookie of the Year: Julio Jones, WR, Atlanta Falcons
Defensive Rookie of the Year: Nick Fairley, DL, Detroit Lions
Comeback Player of the Year: Dallas Clark, TE, Indianapolis Colts
Coach of the Year: Mike McCarthy,Green Bay Packers
And what prognostication piece would be complete without my bold (and uncannily accurate) team-by-team predictions for the upcoming campaign?
Reality’s Two Dirty Words
A nickel’s worth of free advice: if you hear the words ‘coming up’ on any reality show, hit the fast forward button on your DVR. Immediately. If you are not quick enough, those precious seconds will be lost forever because nothing you are about to hear will fail to be mentioned again (and, most likely, yet another time after that.) You see nothing in those moments you will not see later on. Blatant time-filling is what it is. Shameful, really.
What better word to describe Republicans talking about poor people at last night’s debate. Funny: I didn’t think they knew non-millionaires existed. Kudos to NBC’s Brian Williams for pushing the issue. Whatever happened to the grande idée central to Robert Kennedy’s War on Poverty? It’s time to once again take up that gauntlet. That vulnerable silent majority needs saving.
And how sickening was it when the audience at the Reagan Library applauded when NBC anchor Brian Williams asked Rick Perry about how he had executed 234 more people than any governor in modern times? Not so right-to-life, I guess.
Overheard . . .
At the movies: “I want to sit next to her so we can talk.”
At TJ Maxx: “If I totally hate these, can I return them?”
At a bar: “I feel sick. Why didn’t you tell me there were cheese on those nachos?!”
Outside a restaurant on U Street: “I don’t like to smoke out back because all of the rats.”
(Nearby) on U Street: “He just let it hang there.”
A Nationals employee: “Don’t ever mention Dippin’ Dots to me again!”
Ah, yes, the ‘Ice Cream of the Future’. Which begs the question: when is the future now?
Reading Now: Moneyball: The Act of Winning An Unfair Game; Theodore Rex; Walking the Bible: A Journey By Land Through the Five Books of Moses; and Bloody Crimes: The Chase for Jefferson Davis and the Death Pageant for Lincoln’s Corpse.
Immersed but On Hold: 1776; A World Undone: The Story of the Great War, 1914 to 1918; A History of Rome; Undaunted Courage; and Guns, Germs, and Steel.
Recently Finished: Obama’s Wars and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (yes: again)!
Up Next: Presidential Campaigns and The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
It’s time to get myself more immersed in Twitter. For those of you that follow me (@nicholasjonwood!) already know, I have found it a fine vehicle for succinct two sentence movie reviews. And also for counting down the Milwaukee Brewers’ Magic Number (11!) But beginning this Tuesday, I have also decided to put myself out there a bit more . . . by posting the fantasy football record of all 11 of my money league teams every Tuesday morning. (Boy I hope I don’t regret doing this!)
Also look for reviews of television shows, books, and the stage in future tweets. And speaking of Twitter, check out this screenshot from Tuesday’s episode of Fantasy 411 on MLB Network:
Thanks for nothing, Hanley Ramirez!