This Week in Fantasy Football

The agony and the ecstasy. In two leagues I secured huge wins to lock up playoff berths. In another I lost for the second week in row, finishing seventh despite having the second most points in the league. And then there is Lambeau Field. In what already has been a cruel, cruel season, the Green Bay Gamblers underperformed yet again, with new acquisition Peyton Manning tallying his second lowest point total of the season. With one week to go I need help to avoid something that has never before occurred in 11 previous years: missing the eight team postseason field (this despite being third in the league in points).

A team-by-team breakdown of the week that was:

Team Result Record Streak Standing Points For
Green Bay Gamblers 119.97-102.00 5-8 Lost 2 Ninth 1,399.59
Sterling Sharpe 101.92-88.26 10-3 Won 9 First 1,515.41
Brc 145-98 8-5 Won 2 Fifth 1,868
Snuffleupagus 148-127 8-4-1 Lost 1 Third 1,721
TR’s Peepers 106.88-90.62 6-7 Lost 2 Seventh 1,413.38
Pangaea 193-151, 151-141 11-15 Won 1 Sixth 3,276
Valley Forge 126.1-114.5 5-8 Won 1 Ninth 1,151.1
GBG 105-78 7-5-1 Lost 1 Third 1,274
Fuzzy Dunlop 231-217 9-4 Won 1 Third 2,255
The Taco Stand 174.30-140.24 7-6 Won 1 Fifth 1,740.32
Unironic Witty Name 228.68-161.38 12-1 Won 5 First 2,643.78
Team Points Against Rank Differential What If?
Green Bay Gamblers 1,451.53 Third -6 The Fantasy Gods hate me. There is no other explanation.
Sterling Sharpe 1,245.62 First Even Nine in a row!
Brc 1,808 Third -2 Two straight is a winning streak!
Snuffleupagus 1,637 Fourth +1 Starting St. Louis D over Miami’s gives me the win.
TR’s Peepers 1,407.66 Second -5 Second most points and I miss the playoffs. Major bummer.
Pangaea 3,501 Fifth -1 Weekend split clinches the last Wild Card berth!
Valley Forge 1,210.1 Ninth Even Highest point total of the season!
GBG 1,216 Third Even It’s playoff time!
Fuzzy Dunlop 1,971 Second -1 Oh Megatron I’ve missed you so!
The Taco Stand 1,776.76 Ninth +4 Came through with a huge, high-scoring win to get in!
Unironic Witty Name 2,288.58 Second +1 Taking this week off!

Week 13 record: 7-5. Overall: 88-66-2 (.571)

Clinched Playoff Berth: Unironic Witty Name, The Taco Stand, Fuzzy Dunlop, GBG, Pangaea, Snuffleupagus, Brc, Sterling Sharpe

Eliminated from Playoff Contention: Valley Forge, TR’s Peepers

Third highest point total of the season translates to only seven wins:

Week 13: 1,706.6
Week 12: 1,571.9
Week 11: 1,509.2
Week 10: 1,772.9
Week 9: 1,507.0
Week 8: 1,771.5
Week 7: 1,608.5
Week 6: 1,544.1
Week 5: 1,486.2
Week 4: 1,609.1
Week 3: 1,181.3
Week 2: 1,391.1
Week 1: 1,677.6

About average for the last week of the regular season in more than half of my leagues:

2014: 7-5 (88-66-2, .571)
2013: 5-6-1 (90-65-1, .580)
2012: 5-7 (85-71, .545)
2011: 9-3 (96-58-2, .622)

And now for some hardware:

Player of the Week: Calvin Johnson. My first round pick in two leagues (and a keeper in another) finally stepped up when I needed him most. His 11 catch, 146 yard, two touchdown catch performance on Thanksgiving accounted for 30, 40.60, and 48 points for the Green Bay Gamblers, The Taco Stand, and Fuzzy Dunlop, respectively. It was for that middle squad, though, he proved most valuable. Combined with teammates Matthew Stafford (29.60) and Joique Bell (24.70) they provided me six fantasy touchdowns on just four real life ones. Their 94.9 combined points were 40.87 more than projected and 54 percent of the winning total.

Goat of the Week: Peyton Manning. Horrible time to start running the ball so. Damn. Much.

Team(s) of the Week: TR’s Peepers and Pangaea. Vaulted from ninth to fifth to nab a playoff berth for the former whilst the latter secured the final Wild Card spot by splitting two matchups and winning the tiebreaker for most total points in a very tough keeper league.

Pure Genius: Pangaea choosing to start Bell (33 points) over LeGarrette Blount (11), a crucial 22 points in a 151-141 playoff berth clinching win.

What was I thinking?!: Pretty pleased with most decisions but opting for the Miami defense on Monday night against the J-E-T-S instead of St. Louis at home against the Raiders was a doozy. The Dolphins did score a respectable eight points, but the Rams—thanks to six sacks, three interceptions, two fumble recoveries, and a touchdown—tallied 42 fantasy points in their 52-0 shutout victory.

Trade of the Week: All. In.

Peyton Comes Home

Last week I noted that I didn’t have to give up any draft picks to acquire Shane Vereen and Percy Harvin. That was not the case for bringing Peyton Manning back home to the Green Bay Gamblers. It cost me first and second round draft picks next year. Regardless of how I go the rest of this season, I’ll have some great trading chits with Manning, Demaryius Thomas, Calvin Johnson, Matt Forte, Vereen, and Harvin to move to recoup traded selections.

Pickup(s) of the Week: I had no idea Buffalo Bills halfback C.J. Spiller was eligible to return this season. Set to be back Week 16, I nabbed him in four PPR leagues that have their championship tilts in Week 17. I also added Johnny Manziel in two leagues, one where we start two quarterbacks and the other in Lambeau Field. Jacksonville Jaguars rookie Marqise Lee also has two new employers.

Drop of the Week: See you Ray Rice. Don’t let the door . . .

Lambeau Field update: Worst. Season. Ever.

Week 13

And, finally, some levity from Week 12, courtesy of Snuffleupagus’ defenses:



Follow my quest for fantasy football dominance—including the highs and lows of such a dynamic and distressing hobby—on Twitter: @nicholasjonwood.

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