In the last four seasons (though probably more; my official records only go back that far), I have only had a cumulative record under .500 for a month: from Week 3 to Week 6 last season. And now again. But there were many positives in this week’s 6-7 record: I scored the second most points of the season, saw my first positive increase in overall standing since Week 3, nabbed $10 USD in one league for most points (Pangaea), and won four more games than last week and three of the victories—for Fuzzy Dunlop, Pangaea, and TR’s Peepers—were potentially season-saving.
As for which team has benefited the most from good—and bad—fortune:
Luckiest team: The Drop Bears (five rungs higher on the ladder than their point total should indicate)
Unluckiest team: Fuzzy Dunlop (a ridiculous seven spots lower—currently in eighth place when I have the most points in the league)
If you’ve missed any of these weekly updates for this or last season, the full archives are now available.
And be on the lookout for more fantasy baseball writings coming to you soon. After all: who doesn’t want to read about how I won four championships, finished second in another, and third in two other leagues? Winning is fun!
Here are how my 12 teams—the supercontinent Pangaea plays two games a week—fared in Week 9:
|Team||Result||Record||Streak||Standing (vs. Last Week)||Points For|
|Green Bay Gamblers||129.32-78.29||6-3||Lost 1||Fifth (-1)||979.57|
|Sterling Sharpe||117.93-69.93||3-6||Lost 2||Tenth (Even)||867.98|
|Brc||139-125||3-6||Lost 4||Tenth (-1)||1,237|
|Snuffleupagus||175-117||6-3||Won 1||Third (+2)||1,218|
|TR’s Peepers||131.56-114.14||4-5||Won 1||Seventh (+3)||763.28|
|Curly’s Cadre*||94.56-83.76||6-3||Lost 2||First (Even)||952.28|
|Pangaea||220-185; 220-178||9-9||Won 2||Eighth (+1)||2,896|
|The Drop Bears*||79.3-72.3||6-3||Lost 1||Third (-1)||881.8|
|GBG||124-112||4-5||Lost 3||Sixth (-2)||946|
|Fuzzy Dunlop||224-146||4-5||Won 1||Eighth (+1)||1,745|
|The Taco Stand||220.76-144.56||5-4||Won 1||Fourth (+1)||1,429.16|
|Unironic Witty Name||223.86-213.06||2-7||Lost 2||Tenth (-1)||1,639.88|
|Team||Points Against||Rank||Differential||What If?|
|Green Bay Gamblers||836.69||Fourth||-1||Can James White be my badly needed RB2?|
|Sterling Sharpe||968.97||Tenth||Even||No Luck but bad luck.|
|Brc||1,235||Eighth||-2||Need to come up with answers—fast!|
|Snuffleupagus||1,169||Fifth||+1||Love love love this team!|
|TR’s Peepers||953.82||Tenth (Last)||+3||Now that is more like it!|
|Curly’s Cadre*||801.76||First||Even||What a blasé week. Can do better.|
|Pangaea||3,062||Eighth||Even||Welcome to the supercontinent DeAngelo!|
|The Drop Bears*||830.8||Eighth||+5||Mathews over (James) Jones and I tie; Carr over Ryan and I win by nine.|
|GBG||944||Third||-3||Andrew Luck waiver acquisition could prove huge!|
|Fuzzy Dunlop||1,497||First||-7||Most points and mired in eighth place. Not cool!|
|The Taco Stand||1,305.40||Second||-2||Love this team!|
|Unironic Witty Name||1,862.94||Eighth||-2||Vernon Davis and Ronnie Hillman’s combined point total? .10.|
*Denotes new team this season
Week 9 record: 6-7. Overall: 58-59 (.496).
If the Postseason Started Today: Six of my 12 fantasy teams make the playoffs (unchanged from Week 8)
Week 9: 1,945.66
Week 8: 1,530.35
Week 7: 1,784.45
Week 6: 1,647.91
Week 5: 1,755.15
Week 4: 1,415.19
Week 3: 2,083.02
Week 2: 1,712.94
Week 1: 1,680.25
Week 9s the last four years:
2014: 6-6 (57-50-1, .532)
2013: 4-8 (66-42, .611)
2012: 8-4 (63-45, .583)
2011: 6-5-1 (67-40-1, .625)
Place Differential (Cumulative number of places in the standings I either rose or fell compared to the previous week):
Week 9 (6-7): +2 (First positive increase since Week 3!)
Week 8 (2-11): -11
Week 7 (8-5): Even
Week 6 (4-9): -4
Week 5 (7-6): -5
Week 4 (6-7): -2
Week 3 (9-4): +7
Week 2 (9-4): -10
Overall: Minus -23 from Week 2
And now for some hardware:
Player of the Week: Last week I wrote this in my ‘Pickup of the Week’ section:
“Thanks to sage waiver wire management and some outright chutzpah (spending the entirety of my remaining $87 of my $100 waiver wire budget), I managed to pick up Pittsburgh Steelers running back DeAngelo Williams in three leagues.”
And now Mr. Williams is my Player of the Week! After all when you run for 170 yards and two touchdowns on 27 carriers, catch two balls 55 yards and add a cherry-on-top two point conversion you put yourself in a very good position. His 36.50, 40, and ridiculous 67 points also helped usher in four crucial wins against no losses. Well done sir!
Goat(s) of the Week: Last week I gave this to all the Packers. This week I bestow the dubious honor on two Broncos. Running back Ronnie Hillman and newly acquired tight end Vernon Davis combined for 0.1 points. No catches for Davis on one target and one yard—one yard!!—on seven carries for Hillman. In stark contrast, their 10 teammates put up 212.76 points and Pittsburgh Steelers wide receiver Antonio Brown had 57.10 on his own. Below average production from Hillman alone would have bridged the 11 point losing margin. Unironic Witty Name needed that win.
Villain(s) of the Week: An evil tie between two very unlikely ne’er-do-wells: Jacksonville Jaguars quarterback Blake Bortles and Chicago Bears running back Jeremy Langford. The former dropped 30.44 and 24.4 points against me in 11 and seven point losses, respectively, while his teammate Langford (against unfortunate Unironic) put up 26.70 and 22.20 points in 11 and 10.8 point defeats.
If there is a silver lining, that last loss went to faithful reader Robby Lewis, who as a reward for his victory requested a shout out in this very space. Good on ya mate!
Team of the Week: The supercontinent rises again!
(Heartbreaking) Team of the Week: Unironic Witty Name. Up 212.86-155.66 before kickoff of Monday Night Football, I felt confident I could hold on for a much-needed victory. And then one of his four players, Malcolm Floyd, got hurt and didn’t return to the game. Lucky break I thought. But then the unlikely triumvirate of Jay Cutler, Langford, and Antonio Gates managed to put up a ridiculous 68.2 points sending me to my second straight defeat.
Pure Genius: Two words: DeAngelo Williams.
Put Me In Coach—I’m Ready to Play: Aaron Rodgers. (Life is good when I’m deciding every week between him and Tom Brady as my starter!)
What was I thinking?!: I went down to the wire deciding whether to play the questionable Ryan Mathews or the probable James Jones in The Drop Bears flex position. I chose poorly. Mathews seven points would have given me a tie. I also decided stupidly to play Matt Ryan over Derek Carr. That cost me a nine point victory in the same league.
Pickup(s) of the Week: This was a very good week on the waiver wire. I got New England Patriots running back—and hopefully heir apparent to the fallen Dion Lewis—James White in six leagues and very fortuitously LeGarrette Blount back on Pangaea . . . for Lewis. GBG had a particularly good haul, picking up both Andrew Luck and Blake Bortles. New England’s defense added to The Taco Stand now gives them the Patriots, Panthers, and Broncos units.
Drop(s) of the Week: Strictly due to roster limitations and not doubting his immense potential, David Cobb in two leagues. Also finally jettisoned Andre Johnson and Julius Thomas in a couple leagues as well. Farewell also to Dolphins team quarterback (hello Marcus Mariota!); Lewis, Pierre Thomas, Stefon Diggs (no Vikings again plus I picked up Allen Hurns in a two PPR league), tight end Austin Seferian-Jenkins, kickers Adam Vinatieri, Josh Lambo, and Dan Bailey; and the New York J-E-T-S, Buffalo Bills and Cincinnati Bengals defense.
Worrisome Injury of Week: Dion Lewis.
Team Ready to Break Out: Pangaea
Lambeau Field update: See: (Last Week’s) Game of the Week
And Then There Were (Still) Two
Stay alive and advance: that’s my mantra for the Survival Pool, now in its 12th season. To pay tribute to the most drama-filled fantasy sport of them all—and by far the most popular of my gambits—I will provide a weekly update of this terrific enterprise. For those unfamiliar this is how it works: You pick one NFL team every week. If they win, you stay in. If they lose, you’re out. You cannot pick the same team twice.
Last week I wrote about the perilous nature of divisional games. But playing at home on Thursday night against an inferior opponent mitigate much of that. So Cincinnati was the easy selection for both remaining contestants.
Most Popular (Successful) Choice: Cincinnati (2)
Most Popular (Unsuccessful) Choice: None
Least Popular (Successful) Choice: None
Least Popular (Unsuccessful) Choice: None
Thus the 2,037 perfect survivors have been whittled down an astoundingly miniscule:
For historical reference before the Week 2 massacre began, there were 258,349 active entries.
I also partake in a confidence pool. You pick every game every week—straight up not against the point spread—and rank your selections based on how confident you are that they will win. For example, in Week 1 I thought there was no way the Packers would lose to the Bears, so I slotted them in at number 16. Conversely, I thought the Rams would pull the upset of the Seahawks, but in order to hedge my bet I gave them the lowest possible number: one.
The free fall continues.
I fell 17 spots to 36 (of 135) and am 48 points back with nine weeks left in the National Football League’s regular season.
Follow my quest for fantasy football dominance—including the highs and lows of such a dynamic and distressing hobby—on Twitter: @nicholasjonwood.