This Week in Fantasy Football

Playoff possibilities abound with one regular season game left to play in five of my leagues and two in the other seven. So this year we are going to do something new and map out all the different scenarios for each team. Here goes nothing:

Green Bay Gamblers: After missing the playoffs for the first time in 12 seasons last year in my coveted keeper league, I’m back where I belong! And with the huge win I am now just a game behind the division leader and own all the tiebreakers, thanks to my superior 4-1 divisional record. 

Sterling Sharpe: I amazingly still have a shot. But I need heaps to happen: three of the five 5-7 teams to lose twice and the one 4-8 squad to fall one time. And then keep increasing my point total. Never say die! Never stop competing! 

Brc: Win out and have any one of three different teams lose twice and somehow pass them in points. I am trailing the sixth, seventh and eighth place teams by 150, 112, and 83 points, respectively. So unlikely but far from out of the realm of possibility. 

Snuffleupagus: Postseason clinched. Likely headed to a top four finish. 

TR’s Peepers: Pretty simple: Win and I’m in! 

Curly’s Cadre: Most points in the league so I’ve unofficially clinched a playoff spot. And a win this weekend will get secure me the first overall seed and coveted Week 14 bye. 

Pangaea: Hopefully two wins and a hefty point total get me in. Right now I am tied for the last playoff spot but lose the tiebreaker by 86 points. I am playing the team right ahead of me in the divisional standings so tons can happen this weekend. Fingers crossed! 

The Drop Bears: Two more wins and heaps of points. That’s my recipe for success. 

GBG: Due to my point total—the second highest in the league—I see no scenario where I’m not in the playoffs. 

Fuzzy Dunlop: Despite scoring the most points in the 12-team league, I have been eliminated from playoff contention. 

The Taco Stand: Need to win and have both Mason’s Team and Hustlers lose. I have 59.7 points more than the former and 118.7 more than the latter so I should get in if I can prevail and they both go down. 

Unironic Witty Name: Need to win and have either B3@st Mod3 or Super Friends lose and I score more 33.54 points than B3@st Mod3 and Super Friends doesn’t tally 14.1 more than I do.

Here are how my 12 teams—the supercontinent Pangaea plays two games a week—fared in Week 12:

Team Result Record Streak Standing (vs. Last Week) Points For
Green Bay Gamblers 91.32-74.33 8-4 Won 2 Fifth (+1) 1,248.52
Sterling Sharpe 138.93-120.93 3-9 Lost 5 Twelfth (Even) 1,156.10
Brc 152-135 4-8 Lost 1 Tenth    (-1) 1,589
Snuffleupagus 122-114 8-4 Lost 1 Fourth   (-1) 1,560
TR’s Peepers 109.18-89.30 6-6 Won 2 Sixth (+1) 1,055.56
Curly’s Cadre* 127.40-108.08 7-5 Won 1 Fourth (+2) 1,228.62
Pangaea 208-151; 151-117 13-11 Won 1 Seventh (Even) 3,860
The Drop Bears* 101.6-86.8 7-5 Lost 2 Fifth (-2) 1,132.2
GBG 98-81 6-6 Lost 1 Third (Even) 1,235
Fuzzy Dunlop 195-167 5-7 Lost 1 Ninth    (-1) 2,229
The Taco Stand 145.02-138.20 5-7 Lost 3 Eighth   (-1) 1,800.30
Unironic Witty Name 244.36-227.38 4-8 Won 1 Seventh (Even) 2,238.80
Team Points Against Rank Differential What If?
Green Bay Gamblers 1,095.24 Fourth -1 Seminal victory.
Sterling Sharpe 1,302.07 Ninth -3 Never stop competing!
Brc 1,614 Tenth Even The nightmare continues: Watkins over Draughn and I win by three.
Snuffleupagus 1,441 Sixth +2 Brady over Rodgers and I prevail by six.
TR’s Peepers 1,214.74 Tenth (Last) +4 Win and I’m in!
Curly’s Cadre* 1,087.38 First -3 Biggest victory of the season—so far.
Pangaea 3,945 Seventh Even Rodgers-to-Cobb please!!
The Drop Bears* 1,107.7 Eighth +3 Must-wins from here on out!
GBG 1,171 Second -1 Hopefully my last speed bump on the way to a title!
Fuzzy Dunlop 1,956 First -8 Most points and I miss the playoffs. Fuck!
The Taco Stand 1,705.14 Second -6 Panthers over Patriots D and I win easily. Fuck!
Unironic Witty Name 2,433.86 Sixth -1 Choosing Wilson over Romo made a 45.96 point difference.

*Denotes new team this season

Week 12 record: 5-8. Overall: 76-80 (.487).

If the Postseason Started Today: Six of my 12 fantasy teams make the playoffs (up one from Week 11)

Clinched Playoff Berth: Green Bay Gamblers and Snuffleupagus

Eliminated from Postseason Contention: Fuzzy Dunlop

Point Totals:

Week 12: 1,717.19
Week 11: 1,596.24
Week 10: 1,463.92 (my second lowest total of the season)
Week 9: 1,945.66
Week 8: 1,530.35
Week 7: 1,784.45
Week 6: 1,647.91
Week 5: 1,755.15
Week 4: 1,415.19
Week 3: 2,083.02
Week 2: 1,712.94
Week 1: 1,680.25

Week 12s (rarely good) through history:

2014: 5-7 (81-62-2, .569)
2013: 8-4 (85-59, .586)
2012: 5-7 (80-64, .556)
2011: 5-6-1 (87-55-2, .620)

Place Differential (Cumulative number of places in the standings I either rose or fell compared to the previous week):

Week 12 (5-8): -2
Week 11 (8-5): +1
Week 10 (5-8): -5
Week 9 (6-7): +2 (First positive increase since Week 3!)
Week 8 (2-11): -11
Week 7 (8-5): Even
Week 6 (4-9): -4
Week 5 (7-6): -5
Week 4 (6-7): -2
Week 3 (9-4): +7
Week 2 (9-4): -10

Overall: Minus -29 from Week 2

Luckiest Team: TR’s Peepers (four rungs higher on the ladder than their point total should indicate; displaced The Drop Bears).

Unluckiest Team: Fuzzy Dunlop (a mind-boggling eight spots short; most points in the entire league and I have been eliminated from playoff contention).

And now for this week’s award:

Player of the Week: Green Bay Packers running back Eddie Lacy. He rushed for 105 yards and also caught four balls for 34 yards and a touchdown. He played a paramount role in the triumphs of both TR’s Peepers and Curly’s Cadre.

Goat of the Week: Green Bay Packers wide receiver James Jones. Zero catches. Zero points.

Villain of the Week: Miami Dolphins wide receiver Jarvis Landry. His 13-165-1 stat line accounted for 48 and 22 points for two foes. And most crucially for me, two defeats.

Team of the Week: Curly’s Cadre. Down 62.08 to zero after the first Thanksgiving game, everyone thought I had no chance. But Lacy’s hard-nosed running in the Turkey Day nightcap (he doubled his projected point total) brought me back into the mix and then T.Y. Hilton, Odell Beckham Jr. and Tom Brady finished my opponent off in fine style:Team of the Week

(Disappointing) Team of the Week: The Taco Stand. Worst possible time to lose my third straight game. Not sitting the Carolina Panthers defense ever again.

(Heartbreaking) Team of the Week: Brc. If I had just started Buffalo Bills wide receiver Sammy Watkins I would be squarely in the playoff mix. Now I need a miracle.

(Last Week’s) Game of the Week: Two in a row is a winning streak:91.32-74.33

And now Week 13’s premier tilt:Game of the Week

Brc Injury of the Week: For the first time all season no one I started got hurt this week. Hallelujah!

Pure Genius: Benching Dallas Cowboys signal caller Tony Romo and playing instead Russell Wilson from the Seattle Seahawks. Their differential in a must-win game for Unironic Witty Name: 45.96 in a 16.98 point win.

What was I thinking?!: Playing the New England Patriots defense over the formidable squad from Carolina. Had I gone with the Panthers, The Taco Stand wins easily. That may have been the death knell to their season.

Put Me In Coach—I’m Ready to Play: Watkins.

Trade of the Week: None

Pickup(s) of the Week: Many fewer transactions with lineups for the most part set. The big acquisition of the week was New England Patriots running back LeGarrette Blount. Like in real life, that guy has been added and dropped by me more than any other fantasy player. But with Giovani Bernard not scoring too many points lately, Pangaea reacquired him for the stretch run. (And possibly next season as well.)

Other additions post-Week 12: Quarterbacks Ryans Tannehill and Fitzpatrick for Sterling Sharpe; Matt Cassel and Austin Davis replacing Tony Romo in my two quarterback league; and The Drop Bears acquiring Marcus Mariota to compete with Derek Carr and Matt Ryan for the starting job. No other running backs besides Blount, but I did get Colts speedster Donte Moncrief to aid TR’s Peepers postseason quest.

With Rob Gronkowski (one team) and Jimmy Graham (two) both going down I was elated to snag Scott Chandler on two squads and Julius Thomas on one. Also selected the Detroit Lions Eric Ebron and Vance McDonald, who has been excellent filling in for Vernon Davis in San Francisco. Finally, in a league I’m required to have two kickers, I cut Philadelphia’s Caleb Sturgis and replaced him with Houston’s Nick Novak.

Drop(s) of the Week: Cut the cord with James White on three teams. Very sorry to see Gio go.

Worrisome Injury of Week: None. No offense to Romo.

Team Ready to Break Out: TR’s Peepers

Lambeau Field update: Another win. Check out box score above in ‘(Last Week’s) Game of the Week’ section.


I also partake in a confidence pool. You pick every game every week—straight up not against the point spread—and rank your selections based on how confident you are that they will win. For example, in Week 1 I thought there was no way the Packers would lose to the Bears, so I slotted them in at number 16. Conversely, I thought the Rams would pull the upset of the Seahawks, but in order to hedge my bet I gave them the lowest possible number: one.

Major step back from last week. Instead of sixth I finished 83rd (out of 135). This poor showing drop me from six spots to 27th. On the bright side, however, I am now only 39 points behind the leader compared to 41 last week. My picks:

Week 12Only six weeks to go!


If you’ve missed any editions of This Week in Fantasy Football, all back issues are now available.


Follow my (increasingly challenging) quest for fantasy football dominance—including the highs and lows of such a dynamic and distressing hobby—on Twitter: @nicholasjonwood.

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One Response to This Week in Fantasy Football

  1. Pingback: This Week in Fantasy Football | An Ebullient Existence

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